Cambridge CPE Essay model

Dear Gustavo, 

I'm writing you to ask if you could check this piece of writing I've recently written. 

I look forward to reading your opinion since, from what I've read in your blog, you seem to be totally honest and quite demanding, like the CPE exam is supposed to be. 

Thanks in advance and have a nice day!

David Belastegui

Write an answer to one of the questions 1-3. Write your answer in about 300 words in an appropriate style. Put the question number next to your answer.

1. You have read the extract below from a letter to a newspaper. Write your letter to the editor, commenting on what you have read and expressing your own views.

I remember the days when young people dressed smartly, were always home by 10 p.m, listened to proper music, were polite and respectful to their elders, and never ever used bad language. They obeyed the rules because they realised that their parents knew better than they did. And I believe they were happier as a result.

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Dear Editor,

My name is Joshua Green and I am writing you to express my absolute disagreement with the opinion expressed in one of the letters sent by your readers and recently published on the Sunday issue of your newspaper.  (Feeback, Keep it short but say which opinion)

Having lived for over 65 years and worked as a professional sociologist, I have developed a broader perspective of life than that of the people who brought me up in my youngest years. Thus, I firmly believe that young people today are not lost or deranged as the letter implies because, although it is true that they are less happy than before since they present higher suicide and depression rates, they also account for most of the progress that we are making as a species.

Furthermore, I believe that the concepts of “smart music” and “smartly dressed” contain a quite palpable amount of bias and subjectivity that ultimately makes me believe that this person is not quite used to one of the most common events in our universe, change. This inexorable fact, to which humanity is well accustomed, brought about science, philosophy and progress in general. And the youth, notwithstanding their tendency to use profanity and disrespect their elders, are essential to keep alive the flames of creativity and curiosity that drive this change.

In conclusion, I believe that the person who wrote that letter has a number of things to learn, and if he or she is eager to expand his/her understanding of the intricacies of the youth, then the TV or social media should not be the sources of this knowledge. Instead I would recommend social studies conducted by scientists, which will not be biased and will objectively challenge the reader’s worldview.

Yours sincerely,

Joshua Green

Feedback:

Dear David. First of all thank you for following the blog. You asked me to be totally honest with the feedback so here I go. 

Here is the issue that I have with your writing. So... your name is David and you are a young student but you decided to imagine that you are an old man called Joshua Green to write your answer ???  If so, why would you do that???

Sure, you can use your creativity and write to the Editor from an invented character´s point of view, but in my opinion that is far too much effort and a very time consuming thing to do in the exam. If you answer as David it is just fine. 

That said, I have to compliment you on the level of vocabulary that you used. It is perfect for CPE and the text is also well organised. Yes, it reads quite aggressive at some points and I would probably want to change that but, thumbs up.