CPE June 2017 Writing and feedback

Hello Gustavo,

My name is Maria M. and I am taking the CPE  exam this June. I am having some problems with my writings and I spend a lot of time trying to find the correct ideas,  so I hope you can help me improve my skills. I suppose it is a matter of practice.

Thank you so much in advance.

I send you attached the task and my writing.

This is the task:

An English language magazine is running a series on the topic of happiness. You decide to send in an article. You should briefly describe one or two situations in which you have experienced a sense of happiness. You should also analyse what contributes to feelings of happiness for many people and suggest whether the pursuit is a worthwhile aim.

Writings + Feedback

Happiness: The eternal search. 

( Feedback:Why did you choose this title? Why is it an eternal search? Do you mean it is impossible to find happiness? )

Why is happiness so vital for the humankind?. What makes people feel happy?. The answers to these questions can be so diverse that it would be nigh impossible to reach an agreement about it.

As far as I am concerned, the most wonderful experience I have nevedundergone was the birth of my daughter. Although this seems to be quite obvious among women who decide to became mothers , my case was really a challenging and amazing story. No sooner had the doctors told me I was pregnant than my nightmare started. All my initial joy vanished when they found my pregnancy was full of unforeseen difficulties and warned me not to go on with it for the sake of my own health. But I struggled to give my daughter the opportunity to come to life and against all odds , miraculously, she was born healthy, eventually, it was paid off. Since that moment, a sense of wellbeing has flooded my life.(Feedback: check text in red)

Firts of all, it seems to me that gladness is and addictive feeling. The happier you are, the happier you want to be. Humankind is constantly and increasingly trying to find diffent ways of quenching its thirst of contentness however tough this process can be. Contrary to popular belief, happiness goes beyond money an material things. Indeed, according to experts, wealthy people have great difficulty in enjoying their lifestyles and are often unable to experiment a sense of fullfillness and satisfaction. From my point of view happiness arises when we are capable of relishing the very ordinary moments in life turning them into the most special ones. What is more, relationships play and essential role due to the fact that human beings tend to share their feelings with people surrounding them, so, having good friends an a supportive family count a lot when it comes to achieving our targets. (Try to find a way to connect paragraph one with paragraph two. Yoo could say for example that being loved or having a loving family contributes to happiness).

To conclude, I would suggest everybody should look for this fantastic feeling. No matter how hard the search may be, we all deserve and have the right to be happy. And bear in mind that by no means should you never give up. (Find a way to connect your conclusion to the other paragraphs).